I haven't had a particular fondness for Christmas the past few years. Clearly the fact that I'm on my own has something to do it, but when I first returned from Japan in the mid 90s I still went to the effort to get and decorate a tree. I even did it the first year I was in the apartment on
Quatama, but there just doesn't seem to be any space for a tree in this apartment.
As for gifts, I purchased mine early in the month -- nothing fancy since I basically have to use whatever I get for my birthday to fund Christmas. Terry was kind enough to take them to the post office while I was at the doctor a couple weeks ago, so I know everyone would have their gift from me in time. But alas, I've spent many a year with few, if any, presents of my own to open.
This year isn't much different. Terry and Julie put together a nice Christmas basket with various goodies -- homemade strawberry jam, rhubarb chutney, ginger cordial, and apple sauce with some baked goods and some locally made fudge and flavored
hazelnuts. I haven't tried any of it just yet, but know it will all be wonderful.
Additionally, Terry found a 3rd edition of the Atlas of the Pacific Northwest from 1963 which I've never seen. I haven't been through it completely yet, but it's really cool. I know I will also spend time comparing it with the 8
th edition I have from 1993. It's pretty close to a perfect Christmas present for a crazy atlas and map loving guy.
My friend Don really surprised me with a gift of
biscotti and a bag of coffee. I really didn't expect anything more from him since he had brought something else a couple weeks ago which I will keep private.
As for my family, my father sent a bit more cash which will, no doubt, come in handy. My one brother mentioned in an email that he's extended my subscription to National Geographic another year and my stepmother mentioned in her email that the post office had assured her that her present would arrive by last Saturday -- but alas, our friends at the USPS seem to let me down yet again. So I'll have to wait until this coming Saturday to see what she sent.
I'm going to put a bone in the oven for Robin and will probably give him a new tennis ball to chew up here in a bit.
And that's pretty much our Christmas. Even though I went through the official begging channels, I wasn't deemed worthy to receive a Merry Christmas through any of the various agencies this year (though
Hillsboro's Trinity Lutheran did a remarkably nice job last year).
Never mind all the senseless babble from the media and marketers -- "Ho, ho, ho. Buy, buy, buy." I've always found that part of the season a real
annoyance. And while I do enjoy watching some of the Christmas movies (I watched Christmas Vacation and A Christmas Story last night), I can only take a limited dose of Christmas music. Last, while I do remember the story of the Christ child, I can't say I feel compelled to go to church.
I also prefer not to join someone
else's family for Christmas since it always feels so odd to me. This is probably the only holiday I can say that about. I think it must have something to do with those early childhood memories that are so wrapped up in our understanding of what Christmas is. Unfortunately, I can't say that all those memories are happy, but they are in fact mine.
At least when I had a partner, we enjoyed combining our traditions into a new form of celebration that I rather enjoyed, but it's rather difficult to make this holiday enjoyable when one is alone.
One thing new this year is I have asked my family if we could NOT talk on the phone today. It's one of those things that I've done the last few years with a mixture of feelings. I remember hanging up the phone after a call and feeling nothing but depressed and since I know that's no one's desire, it just seemed to make more sense to avoid the calls all together.
I know they are thinking of me and maybe they all would prefer that I was there -- I too prefer I was there, it's just the traveling that I can't abide. But then there is the talking to everyone. It isn't easy to hear about all the wonderful gifts everyone else has enjoyed opening when I've had little or none. And then there are the stories of fun had and wonderful food enjoyed. I'm truly happy for them, but again, through my own choice, I've done without.
But I guess the worst part is when I am asked the inevitable "So how was
you're Christmas?" It seems that this is one of those magic questions where we only want to get answer that reinforces our own feelings of satiety. My scripted response is generally, "fine, fine," and then I change the subject. No one really wants to know how I feel, do they?
I think I will wrap this up because much like those phone calls I wanted to avoid, I find myself slowly overcome by emotions that I can do little with other than feel and trust me, they aren't good. So much like I decided a few weeks back, it's better that I forget about it all and just treat the day much like any other. This way I won't be any worse off for it.
I have the entire stack of I, Claudius tapes to enjoy -- and that puts the fun into
Dysfunctional Family! It seems the lovely, large snow flakes are falling agin...
Merry Christmas to All
and to All
Good Night!